26 november, 2024

i need to be nicer to myself. i know grief is not linear but my emotions so desperately want it to be. of course im going to have days where i feel great and days where i feel awful. its okay that this takes time. 

 9 november, 2024

my video from mid-way through 2023 or 2022 at school. i made it because i love my space and i think a lot when i'm in it. i was struggling to articulate how i felt and this helped me, i couldn't tell you in words properly but i think that it's important. cai said they wanted the video beamed into their brain, it made me really happy. its sad that i'm moving out of here soon because it is nice to be in my bed and think about when they were in my bed and we would watch youtube videos on my laptop with gigi, or when they would rummage through my wardrobe looking for an outfit for a gig they had that night that i knew would never be returned because they were so forgetful, or when we all bleached their hair and eyebrows on the deck in my backyard.

 9 november, 2024